Slow Motion

Do you ever feel like sometimes life is going by too quickly? You look back and feel like maybe your days have been in fast forward for a few months? 

For so long now I thought that that was how I wanted it to be. I've always been a fan of moving on to bigger and better things. My life for years now has been extremely fast paced. I graduated high school early. I took college classes while in high school still. I came to college thinking I could keep with that same rhythm. And I could. And I have. And now I hate it. I could graduate in June if I wanted to. I could move to New York if I wanted to. I could start my career if I wanted to. 

You know what else I could do? I could leave all my best friends and best memories. I could jump the gun and not have any fun with my classes. I could groan and complain about how much I hate Provo and let everyone know how ready I am to get out of here. I could listen to my mind and not my heart. 

I could listen to MY will instead of HIS will. 

I could make a mistake.

And that's what I realized whilst sitting in my D&C class yesterday. I was only listening to what I wanted - not what He has in mind for me. And that was a mistake. 

Why would I want to graduate a year earlier than everyone else I came here to BYU with? Why would I want to move to New York at barely 20 years old to start a career? Why would I want to leave my very best friends to move on to no one and loneliness at such a young age? Why would I only take the required courses and not take advantage of the fun classes I have available to me here at one of the top universities in the nation? Why would I complain about this awesome college town that I live in? There are so many good things about it - it's a shame that I find myself getting down on it so often. Why would I want to get out of here after only living here for 3 years? 

I don't. I'm not. I'm staying.