The Ice Cream Aisle

It happened two years ago. Right at the peak of the mass exodus of sister missionaries from Provo, Utah... 

It seemed like every single female was getting a mission call - there were multiple opening parties every Monday and Wednesday night - foreign destinations were the topic of every lunch date - ASOS packages filled the mail trucks and littered the doorsteps of every apartment complex - FB profile pictures were updated to your mission application head shot...you remember how it was...

Well I was one of those girls. It was exactly 10 days after I had received my call to the Sweden, Stockholm mission. Kaitlin's little sister (who had also just received her mission call) was in town visiting/celebrating. She was craving Ben&Jerry's Half Baked so we made a late night trip to Smith's. 

You never really know what you're going to find at Smith's...it's right in the heart of Provo. Most often you'll walk in and see at least one person you know, or had a class with, or remember from your freshman dorm... Or a homeless person, or an NBA star, or a famous Mormon blogger, or the head of the BYU meth lab... You just never know... 

We only had one goal with this shopping trip: ice cream - Ben&Jerry's to be exact. The ice cream aisle was a straight shot back from the front entrance of the grocery store. With the few steps it took to get there, it wasn't long before I noticed there were guys blocking the freezer door to the Half Baked ice cream we were after. I didn't know either of their names, but one of them stood out. He was very handsome. And his face was very familiar to me. It took me a few seconds to realize that I had seen him before. Multiple times. Not in any sort of formal setting - just around campus here and there. I only ever admired him from afar. Every so often I remember seeing him with a person I knew, but I never took the effort into finding out more about him.

So here he was: man unknown - man in black - struggling to decide between two different brands of coffee flavored ice cream. 

(I must note here that we were only here for Kaitlin and Paige: they requested Ben&Jerry's Half Baked...but in fact, my favorite kind of ice cream is coffee flavored ice cream, so obviously I was heaven sent to help him choose which kind to get...)

To him, I was a mere stranger who really had no business interfering in his affairs. In fact, if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't have said anything...but for some reason, he felt familiar to me, so it didn't take much courage for me to speak up and let him know that he would be truly sorry if he chose any other brand but Starbucks.

He turned around quickly, making it obvious that he didn't even notice us standing there. It was probably extremely alarming turning around to 4 girls surrounding you. He mumbled something about 'this being fate' because he had no idea which one to choose...or something like that...and he and his friend picked up their small cartons and walked towards the check-out lines.

I didn't think a single thing of it after they left. Kaitlin and Paige picked up their cartons and we, too made our way back home and spent the rest of the evening just like any other weekend night with just us girls. Tucked away in our apartment wearing who knows what and talking about whoever we felt like and worrying and wondering about what would be happening 6 months down the road...

I ended up marrying that boy from the ice cream aisle. Somehow we ended up at the same party (invited by the same person) 10 days after our encounter at the grocery story and the rest is history. We saw each other every day since then. 

My mission was deferred...and then cancelled...

Family's were met...road trips and weekend trips... 

Grad school was decided upon...moves were made...

A ring was bought...and a date set... 

A summer was spent apart...and a wedding planned... 

A contract was signed...and a U-Haul was rented... 

I think back on that trip to Smith's pretty often. I think about all the big events that led up to that one single trip to the grocery store. I think about all the other places I probably could have been that night if it weren't for all the things that had taken place in the months leading up to mission calls and Paige visiting...

Just within those last 6 months before meeting him:

- I felt prompted to extend my graduation date

- I felt prompted to turn down job offers

- I was broken up with

- I felt prompted to prepare for a mission

- Guys were broken up with

And I realized that…

If I never noticed him around campus, I would have never recognized his face there in Smith’s.

If I never recognized his face, I would not have helped him choose which ice cream to buy.

If I never helped him choose, I wouldn't have peaked his interest at the party

If we never connected at the party, he wouldn’t have gotten my name, or my number… He wouldn’t have ever seen me again… I would have gone on to serve a mission… and yeah, I think both of us would have turned out perfectly fine…but here’s the thing…

And I don't think Nate likes for me to think this, but I think there was some serious Heavenly guidance going on in each of our lives in the years before we finally met. It was too weird that we ended up having tons of mutual friends. It was too weird that we hadn't met after living within a few miles of each other for the 4 years I lived there. It was too strange that it happened when it did - 10 days after receiving one of the most life-altering letters I have ever received. It was too strange how easy the relationship was from the very beginning. It was too weird how connected we felt after only knowing each other for a week. It was too weird how I could honestly say I knew I was going to marry him after only dating for a month. 

Sometimes I wonder if Smith's was my only chance at finding Nate. I feel like Heavenly Father gave me a super small window to work with, but it proves that much more how perfectly God knows each of our lives and how much He is involved, whether we wish to acknowledge it or not.

The months I spent preparing to serve a mission were some of the best months of my life. Spiritually, I felt like I was at an all-time high. I know that if I had not gone through the motions of preparing to serve a mission for 18 months, that there is a large chance that I would not have been exactly where I needed to be that Saturday night. There's a truth to the many quotes that talk about being in the right place at the right time - but there's also a lot of work that goes in to being capable of being in that place exactly when you need to be. It takes being perfectly in tune with the spirit and constant communication with your Father in Heaven. It takes humility and sacrifice - but in return, it brings blessings and happiness beyond what you could ever imagine.  

I know now, that I needed to go through the steps of preparing to serve a mission. I know that it helped me put my life in order and become spiritually prepared to make some of the hardest decisions I’m certain I’ll ever have to make. The best part about it, is that those decisions ended up being so much easier to make with the Lord on my side. 

Wife of the year...or not

Oh how I love this sweet man of mine. 

I'm fairly certain Texas is just playing a big trick on us this week, but we've had perfect weather these last three days and I am welcoming fall with arms   w i d e  o p e n   

Since Nate's started school back up, life has been super crazy. When he's not working or in class, he's working on applications for fellowships. It's been an insane few weeks and I'm so ready for all these applications to be done with - mostly for Nathan's sake. 

He was so stressed at one point that he jokingly asked me to write his cover letter for him. Wellllll I kind of took him seriously one night while I was home alone. ++awesome wife points++

Unfortunately, those bonus points were quickly rejected when I ruined TWO pairs of Nate's pants. Pretty great, huh? It started when I forgot to tell Nate NOT to wash a pair of new jeans that I had hanging over the edge of the laundry hamper. Alas, as we were switching that load over to the dryer, we noticed way too many items of our clothing stained with blue dye. 

I immediately called my mom knowing in the back of my mind that this had happened to her once before. She told me to buy a package of color run remover and it would take out the blue dye no problem.

I followed the directions very carefully, but somehow didn't realize that the hot pink shirt I had in with the other items would get ripped of color along with all the spots of blue. Once the cycle was complete, not only were most of the blue stains gone, but all of the pink from the shirt as well....and wanna know where it went? Straight onto two pairs of Nate's pants.

That's right...I turned his pants pink. I was horrified and embarrased and just utterly confused. Surely my mom had the answer? I called her again and she simply said that another package of color remover should do the trick.

Commence cycle #2. In the end - the pink WAS removed, but so was most of the other color (brown) from pants. Instead of them being a nice dark khaki, they were now golden yellow. 

WIFE OF THE YEAR!

               

On a lighter note...I waited a solid year before ordering any wedding prints. And these aren't even prints, it's a book. But to be honestly, I only waited so long because I bought Walter Mitty a couple months ago and I got a free Shutterfly photo book out of it... if that wasn't included in the package, I'd still be photo-less. HA! I'm terrible.

This book turned out WAY better than I was expecting. I couldn't stop staring after I picked up it from the mailbox. So many happy, beautiful memories :)

More good news: NATE AND I WERE FINALLY RELEASED FROM NURSERY!!

Only because apparently I had been on the waiting list to get into Young Women's for like 6 months. Geez. So yes, I was immediately called as the Secretary/Personal Progress lady for YW. Holla!

I have no freakin idea what I'm doing, so feel free to send over any advice you may have. I have a feeling my Type A personality is going to get the best of me in this calling. I already went WAY overboard for a stupid ward party last month and it straight up ruined me. My expectations were on the roof and were very quickly stomped to the ground. Pray that I can make the best of this!! (AKA stop caring if everything is perfect)

Music recommendations as of late:

alt-J: This Is All Yours (album)

Broods: Four Walls (thx Kylie)

Yuna: Lullabies Adventure Club Remix (thx Brooke)

Echosmith: Cool Kids

Hozier: Someone New

Active Child: Silhouette (feat. Ellie Goulding)

Trevor Hall: Chapter Of The Forest (album)

YEAR ONE

I feel like a lot of people told Nate and I that the first year of marriage was going to be the hardest. I will admit that there were some hard parts, but I think I expected much worse, just based on all the fear other married couples tried to pour over us. Our "honeymoon phase", or whatever they call it, was cut fairly short due to the stream of high-stress events that followed directly after our very short honeymoon. Adult reality was rough - especially when you're having to deal with it with someone you're not used to spending 24/7 with. Luckily, Nathan is a pretty easy guy to live with; (not that I have previous experience...except for my two brothers...and my dad...) he's kind of OCD, and he has great hygiene, and he doesn't have super high expectations...so that made my job and my adjusting to married life, much easier. Praise him!

Aside from the fun stuff above, here are some other things that we've dealt with and learned this first year:

When I first got married, I felt tons of pressure to be the best house wife ever. Home-cooked meals every weekday night for Nathan when he got home from classes, making the bed every single morning, keeping a spotless house...you know how it goes. Well that ended about 3 months in and I definitely don't feel as much pressure to cook elaborate dinners every single night anymore. With his night classes and pea-size stomach, I'd rather have him deal with it on his own. And I think he would, too, most of the time.

We go to bed pretty early. If I'm up past 11pm, there's something wrong (unless it's a weekend...but even then I'll still be asleep before midnight). I never understood that whole "8hours of sleep" thing - but now I do. Now I swear by it.

We actually socialize quite a bit with other married couples around town. A lot of people said you lose all your friends when you get married, but that's not necessarily true. You may lose all your other single friends when you get married, but they absolutely get replaced. Haha. Like, no offense to the single kids - but you hate hanging out with married couples...it's fine... 

Doing grown-up things is hard. Like taking care of a nasty ticket and doing defensive driving and getting all the paperwork taken care of and filled out correctly. Or paying bills. Like lots of them - and having to keep track of all of it. Or budgeting. Or paying taxes. Or renewing your car registration. Or dealing with housing management companies. Or having a full time job whilst watching all your other college friends go off on these elaborate trips around the world. Boo them. 

Sometimes I get super baby hungry. But that's why we have other married friends with children - we can go hang out with them for a few hours and get reminded as to why we're definitely not ready to have children of our own any time soon. 

I'm realizing more and more the importance of having a job you enjoy. Even if it doesn't pay as much - sometimes I think it maybe is more worth it. Right now that's hard to argue, because I'm having to put my husband through grad school and we're still having to take out some student loans and stuff...but a job is something you spend the majority of your time doing, and if you hate it - it ends up effecting every single other aspect of your life. Since I have extremely limited options here in our tiny town, instead of wallowing in self-misery, I work on changing my attitude and forcing myself to love what I do. But in a year, when we move somewhere else, I'm going to make sure it's both mine and Nathan's priority to find jobs we both enjoy doing for at least 40 hours every week. 

My lactose-intolerance is getting worse. Now I can only drink almond milk and my second bite of ice cream usually makes me sick. Still haven't tried lactose pills, but I have big plans to test them in the near future. 

My attempts to "diet" always fail because for some reason I really just cannot give up sugar. But I'm getting better at working out really consistantly, so I don't feel aaaas bad when I cave.

Don't move into a place just because it looks like a cabin on a 'lake' that would be in a Nicholas Sparks book. Sometimes it's actually quite miserable and infested with spiders and scorpions. 

Don't try to take the protective plastic off the tv your husband bought two years ago or else he will get very angry. 

Don't be indecisive about where you go out to eat, or else your husband will never want to go out to eat with you. 

Don't complain to your husband that it's too cold in your house, becasue most likely he has a hotter body temperature than you. That's what blankets and cuddling are for. 

Don't leave your shoes laying out all over the floor or else your wife will continue to trip over them and maybe even bruise herself on the frame of the bed. 

Don't leave your whiskers in the sink for your wife to find when she gets home from work. Because that's gross and it's not that hard to rinse them down the drain. 

Don't use your fancy knives if you're not going to be suuuper careful, or else you will cut your fingers...a lot... 

Don't put the half-empty bag of flour on the floor of the pantry because it will turn into a home for bugs 

Don't let your husband leave you for the entire summer because then you won't have anyone to kill the bugs...or fix the burnt out light(s)...or complain to your apt. management...or take care of you when you're sick...or watch really idiotic tv shows with you...or eat meals with...  

Don't forget about the sweet potato in your cupboard or else it will start growing long pink limbs and look like a rodent...or a piece of art...  

Start writing things down. You don't have to start a blog in order to be officially admitted into the married people's club, but you should definitely have some sort of way to keep track of the things going on in your life. Good, bad, ugly, depressing, exciting...it's always fun to look back on.

Save money. As much as you can. There's better use for it down the road. 

But at the same time, don't hold back on splurging on things that will be more worth it emotionally. Like my flights to Vegas this summer -- we don't have that kind of money just sitting around, but instead of being ABSOLUTELY depressed for 10 weeks straight, we thought it would be a better investment to go ahead and purchase the flights and save the heartache. Totally, totally worth the money.

Always make sure the first person you tell your exciting news to is your spouse. Not your mom, or your best friend...your spouse. That's what they're there for, and that's who you should always make your first priority. For everything.

Take advantage of every opportunity for adventure. Nate and I are slowly getting better at this. I've been learning a lot from some of my other married friends from college...some of them are SO good at getting out and doing really fun things in the cities and areas around them. Some of the time the stuff isn't even that cool, but I love that they try to do something besides just sit around and be boring all weekend long. Nate and I got too good at that for a while and I'm ready for that to change. 

Our first year flew by way too fast. Looking back, there's so much we went though in such a short amount of time. Lots of ups and downs. I wouldn't do a single thing differently, except maybe be a little more optimistic about certain situations...
I'm excited for this second year to start. We have a lot to get done and prepare for in these next few months, and it makes me so giddy for our future. This final year of Nate's grad program is going to be hefty. I'm not looking forward to all the night classes and team meetings that steal him away from me on my hours off from work...but it's all going to be worth it once he's graduating next May and we're off to a new place to start a new chapter of our lives.

I'm not sure what I did to snag a guy like Nate, but I thank God every day for him and what a blessing he is in my life. He's the kindest, most selfless and loving husband I could have ever asked for. And he sooo handsome :) I love love love him.

Post-Wedding Pitfalls

I have this theory that women either get prettier or uglier after getting married. Sometimes it's a gradual process, and sometimes you start noticing after a few weeks...

Fortunately, but unfortunately, it's not like anyone is going to tell you to your face. The ugly/pretty game is completely mental - you know when you're not looking your hottest, you know when you've put on a few pounds - other people may not know those things, but you definitely do.

For me, I feel like I got uglier. It bugged still bugs me, but I think I'm starting to piece together the reasons why...

I must preface my comments by first saying that my husband loves me with or without make-up; 10lbs heavier, or in old high school sweatpants. BUT, I do know there's a fine line and instead of just relying on the fact that he's going to "love me no matter what", I want to keep him satisfied and infatuated...which entails a little more than a greasy bun and a thrown-together outfit every morning. Beauty is definitely MUCH more than physical appearance, but physical appearance aids greatly in your beauty.

Here are my thoughts as to why SOME of us warp into homely, garment wearing, slummy sisters, rather than super toned, in-style, picture-perfect [modest] bombshells.

FIRST, you may have more down time. Obviously this depends a LOT on your situation - but for the most part, the biggest thing in your life that dramatically decreases is your socialization. You could still be in school, or working full-time, but before marriage, most people made a significant effort to spend time with people outside of their everyday full time activities. Once you get married, that effort decreases significantly, and you find yourself at home, or just with your spouse, more often than trying to get together with a group of other people.
That could bring on a wave of different habits and lifestyle changes that could impact your physical appearance. When you're not constantly trying to catch the eye of every guy you pass on campus, your mindset changes and that's when different habits start kicking in. For instance, you could feel less motivated to work out, spend less time getting ready, eat poorly, have less money to spend on yourself, etc.
My down-time comes after my 8-5 workday and most of the time, I have zero energy and would prefer coming home, plopping down on my couch, and watching endless episodes of GG on Netflix whilst eating handfuls of Chex Mix. Down time isn't really my body's friend most of the time.

SECOND, you may have zero time. After marriage you may have less time than before! You could finally have a full-time job after graduation, you may have babies to take care of, or a chaotic house to run...who knows, but sometimes having no down time is just as bad as having too much! It could cause you to eat badly (since you have no meal prep time), or have no time to work out, or literally have no time to get ready.

THIRD, you have less motivation. I already kind of mentioned this above, but I want to reiterate it. It may be different for some people, but once you're married, you feel like you have him "locked in" - you know he's not going anywhere, so why take the extra time to get ready in the morning or find the perfect outfit for your date that night? He "doesn't care what you look like", so what's the point? Besides, he doesn't like waiting around for you to do your hair, so why "make him suffer"?
OMG I've learned this lesson. Although, I must tell you that guys really don't realize how much time goes in to getting ready. Nate was never around before he came to pick me up for our dates! He didn't know I had to start the process two hours in advance in order to have the perfect outfit and perfect hair and perfect face...he didn't see that routine until AFTER the wedding night. It's a game changer, especially if your significant other is as impatient as mine. (Luckily Nate is quietly impatient, but I can still tell when he's sick of waiting on me). Fortunately, you know how long it takes you to get ready, so as long as your communication with your husband is in full swing, you should know when he plans on leaving and what time you should start getting ready. Nate definitely noticed that I started doing my hair less and less as the weeks went by. He started commenting on shower skipping or "less-fashionable" outfits. (Not that he really cares, but he does occasionally say that he remembers us being more fashionable when we were dating...) I didn't like hearing it, and while I had been used to the same routine for years and years, it made me realize that things needed to start changing if I were going to keep my man happy and satisfied.

FOURTH, making your spiritual life less of a priority. I'm just speaking from personal experience here, but I feel like I became less spiritually minded after getting married. Which, I must admit, is the saddest thing in the entire world, because our church is centered on the family and eternal marriages, and I feel like I could be getting so much more out of my marriage if I were to spend more time on gospel study. Not only do you always benefit from scripture study, but keeping your spirituality in check GREATLY increases your physical appearance. Maybe it's partly because while still single, I felt MORE obligated to be spiritually in-check because if not, I wouldn't be rewarded with my EC or something...haha. Or maybe because BYU singles wards are the best and family wards are not, and having that kind of support system greatly aided in my spiritual well being...who knows. All I know is that your spirit shines through, dull or bright, depending on how healthy it is.


So for those of us that associate with any, or in my case, ALL, of the above, here are some ways to shake things up and hopefully get ourselves pulled together and back to that sexy thing your husband said 'yes' to on your wedding day.

FIRST, don't think that married people aren't fun. Yeah, after you get married, you lose like all of your single friends. It's a big adjustment, but don't let it deflate you. There are SO MANY fun married couples. You were a lot more fearless during your single days; so let that part of you shine again when you're meeting people in your new ward or neighborhood.
Get out of your house. Find things to do where you live. Most likely, you've recently moved from somewhere you've been living for the last little while. Not only do you have a new (eternal) roommate, but you have a new home, a new environment...new everything. Don't let it scare you, let it excite you. Invite people over. Have dinner parties and dessert nights. You finally have a home! Make it fun and something to celebrate and show off!

Also, find friends with babies. I promise you'll start getting spurts of baby hunger all the time after getting married, and if you're trying to hold off on having some, it helps having friends with cute kids - you can spend time with them all you want without the worry of actually having to take care of them 24/7! :)

SECOND, I've found that "me time" is some of the most important time during my day. For some, it really may be impossible, but I would hate to think that. You may have to start saying "no" to the occasional request, or start putting your kids down a little bit earlier than usual, but it's essential. "Me time" may just consist of working out, but I guarantee that you won't regret the time spent getting your heart rate up - ever. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house...go shopping, or just for a drive so you can listen to your music as loud as you want without anyone else caring. Maybe you can't leave the house, but you're baby is napping - some days you just gotta skip the cleaning and sit down and read a book of your choosing, or catch up on a few episodes of your favorite TV show. It's worth it, and you'll feel the difference by making that time for yourself.

THIRD, don't settle with yourself now that you're not fighting for attention. Sure you have a husband now who loves you no matter what, but that doesn't mean you can stop caring about what you look like. To be honest, your husband most likely fell in love with the girl who spent two hours getting ready every morning and making sure she had the perfect shirt to wear with her new jeans. Once he stops seeing those things, it's not necessarily going to turn him off, but it will throw him off. You don't want to stop impressing your man - you still want him to think you're sexy and attractive.

Find time to work out, spend that extra half hour getting ready, eat more healthy, and don't hesitate on buying yourself a cute shirt every few months :)

        

Obviously, not everyone has access to a gym, but that's the weakest excuse for not getting your body moving. I've found AWESOME at-home workouts you can easily do with household objects or simply in your neighborhood. If all you have time to do is go on a 15-20min walk every day, then do it, with our without your kids - it's better than nothing.

        

Aside from getting active, it's also about what you eat. Trust me, it takes SO much self control, especially when your husband probably has the highest metabolism you've ever seen and never puts on a single pound after eating anything he wants...but changing the way you eat, in even the smallest ways, will make you feel SO much better about yourself. Stop buying the boxed snacks/chips/cookies. Quit drinking soda. Try to eliminate the sugar you know you probably shouldn't be eating. Start with that. Pinterest has like a bajillion and a half "healthy recipes" you can go find. Try one out every once in a while, but all it takes is slowly eliminating the mindless treats and drinks and replacing them with healthier options. Sometimes I find that my mouth just wants something to chew on, so grapes and baby carrots are like my go-to.

Spend the time getting ready. I used to ONLY shower in the morning, because I swore that my hair looked better if I did...but after Nate started making fun of me for skipping showers because I didn't want to get up that early, I decided to try out showering at night and it's been a complete game changer!! (It's actually saved me time in the morning.) Wear make-up...even if you know you're not leaving the house that day. Pick out your clothes the night before if you're like me and it takes you 5 tries before finding what you really want to leave the house in.

        

FOURTH, spiritual growth makes more of a difference than you may realize. By making time for Him, you are much happier, and in turn, you absolutely show it. Find ways to serve other people - whether it's your husband, your co-workers, or a couple in your ward that needs a little date night.
To add on to that, spirituality is more than reading your scriptures. It's being positive about yourself and others around you. This one is hard for me - especially with social media today and all the false pretenses it entails. People only post what they want people to see - you're comparing your very worst to someone's very best. How unfair is that?! My advice: stop taking everyone so seriously on social media. And stop comparing in general.
Some girls are fortunate enough to already have most of the above habits in place before getting hitched - making their lives seem more glamorous and desirable than our own. Forget them. Focus on you. You have control over your life and what you do, so if you want change, then start working on it!

Yes, your husband should love you no matter what you look like, but loving yourself is even more important than that. You'd be a liar if you said you didn't care what you looked like. Every girl does in one way or another - so whether you're doing it for him, or for yourself, it's worth making some little changes for the better.

I'm no expert on this subject. I haven't even been married a year yet, so I honestly have no room to talk. These thoughts and experiences are based purely on personal experience, so hopefully someone else can relate to them, too. 

Mushy Gushy

Nathan's trying to grow a beard right now. He sees men on TV that have similar hair growth as him and he's like, "hey my beard could look like his, right?" See below:

Yes, this means we were watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians on Saturday morning...judge away.

So Valentine's Day is on Friday. I've never really been a big Valentine's person. Probably because I never dated anyone seriously enough to even need to make it a big deal. Actually, I'm pretty sure last year was my first Valentine's Day that was celebrated with someone of the opposite sex. Years before that were spent with roommates watching chick flicks eating an unecessary amount of junk food on the couch. I guess that helped both me AND Nate going into it, because I had zero expectations for whatever he may or may not have planned. I tried to do little cute things that in the end just ended up being really cheesy and embarrassing. Nate automatically won when he surprised me with dinner reservations at one of our faaavorite restaurants in all of Utah County, Pizzeria 712...and might I add, reservations for Valentine's Day dinner are nearly impossible to come by. Don't ask me how he did it. 

Nate: 1   Zoe: 0

I have no idea what's in store for this year. Is it weird to anyone else that you're supposed to like...give gifts on Valentine's Day? It's like a thing, I feel like. Why? Didn't we just have Christmas? Anyway, I always thought that I was a bad gift giver...but I guess it gets easier when you're with someone 24/7 and you somehow are capable of keeping track of what they need/want or what you think they'll probably really like. Christmas required a good amount of peculiar brainstorming sessions in order to find exactly what Nate would appreciate. (I'd say I did a pretty good job) So for Valentine's I figured I'd go through a similar process and see what I could come up with. In the end, most of my brainstorming was spent doing Google searches of "what to buy men for Valentine's Day". But I found tons of great ideas...none really that I thought would appeal to Nate specifically....but it definitely got my wheels turning. It sparked some memories of little instances when Nate mentioned he was needing something, or that he really like this one particular thing, etc. I think I'm all set for this Friday. Cross your fingers he doesn't go out with a bang...

BUT...I guess you could say our big present to ourselves for Valentine's Day is a trip to NYC next weekend!!!! JetBlue was having some outrageous sale a few weeks ago and I couldn't resist booking us a flight. I absolutely love New York City. Nate's never really experienced it before, so I'm excited to get to spend the weekend with him there.

I'm praying that another huge wintery storm doesn't come blowing in while we're there. As pretty as it is, I think I'd prefer to feel my feet while I'm walking around rather than feel like they're about to break off. 

Being married is a funny thing. Especially in the beginning. A lot of my friends are in all different stages of love right now...some are barely getting engaged...some newly married...a big handful are getting ready to (or already) welcoming a new life into the world. It's crazy how much your life can change by welcoming someone else into it. And I think it happens each time you add someone else. It starts with him. I'm still in that stage. There's lot's of little things to adjust to...and everyone is so different, so no matter what advice anyone gives you, none of it is really going to echo whatever you're going through, because their husband isn't your husband and he doesn't do the same thing your husband does. It's like this love-filled journey you're essentially supposed to figure out on your own. Isn't that strange? 

As soon as it starts getting easier, I think that's when you start welcoming the thought of adding another person into your circle of life. And so the cycle goes. Each time filled with different hiccups and bruises and lessons to learn. But so fulfilling and fun and worth it. 

I get so excited for the friends of mine that are getting engaged and married. It's a freaking hard adjustment, but it's so much more fun to be going through life with someone who loves you more than anything else. I go to bed every night feeling so blessed to be where I am with the person I'm with. The town we live in sucks. My job isn't the best. We don't do a whole lot at all. But I'm realizing I don't need all that stuff to make me feel accomplished and fulfilled. I feel like it's really easy to get caught up in everyone else's life these days. Everyone and their mother puts their most detailed information up on social media for the world to see and when we start using them as a guide for what happiness looks like...it's always going to be skewed. You know that they're only putting up the most glamorous side of their life. It's an unfair comparison to measure your every day life to someone else's highlight of the week. They don't have a highlight of the week every day. 

So here's to your love. Your very own, peculiar, unlike anyone else's, love :) 

Also. Thanks to Kylie, I can't stop listening to this 90's throwback:

We suck at taking pictures

Remember how it's already almost been like 3 months since I've updated this dang thing? (sorry Ariel)

Not TOO much has happened in this uneventful town that we live in. Finally getting kitchen table chairs didn't keep me satisfied for very long in our little cottage. The cold weather slowly started to creep into Texas and the paper thin walls of our house weren't helping with that. The bugs were never-ending. I got bit by a spider. The bite was on my thigh for a good two weeks - at it's worst, the mark was about the size of my entire hand and then some. Pretty awful. Oh and then there were the scorpions. It became a habit to look into the corners of our house (esp. in the bathroom) before fully entering the vicinity. We had lived there almost three months and we had already killed about 10. One night I was sitting on the floor (no couch) watching TV - my back was up against the wall - and I felt something kind of tickle my lower back. Obviously I kind of swiped my hand back there to relieve the tickle and then all of a sudden I WAS HOWLING IN A PAIN SO SERIOUS it nearly sent me into shock. Mostly it just scared the HELL out of me (it's ok to use that word in this instance) and I started sobbing and Nate was getting all nervous and freaked out and had no idea what had just happened until I started pointing and blubbering at the HUGE SCORPION RUNNING ACROSS OUR TILE. I ripped my shirt off and immediately went to look in the mirror to see what kind of damage was done. Three THREE 3 sting marks!!! The pain was actually pretty awful and luckily Nate is a saint and was a really good soother after such a traumatic experience. (ps. baking soda + water takes the sting out real quick)

Anyways, enough of the terrors associated with the cottage. We quickly put it up on Craigslist, not expecting anyone to come to us wanting to move mid-semester. Alas, we were wrong (hallelujah) and we moved out the day after Thanksgiving into a BRAND NEW apartment complex (talk about drastic changes) with carpet in the bedroom, and wood floors, and central heating, and an ice maker in the freezer, and a FULL SIZE SHOWER/TUB, and a pool+hot tub, and a GYM. The list goes on. And no I will not miss the squawking geese outside my window at 6am every morning, or getting my shoes/heels muddy every time I step outside, or wearing clothes that are stained with the smell of must. And yes Nathan finally let me buy a couch (Craigslist, holla!) that my parents kindly transported from some random man's house in Austin. He also is finally letting me decorate, which is a huge step, because that wasn't really encouraged in our old place. (he found it pointless since he hated it and it reminded him of the crappy houses he lived in in Brazil) So I'm taking full advantage and I've been slowly creating and collecting little things that will make our new house feel more like home.

Before Thanksgiving break came, Nathan's old roommate, Aaron, came to Dallas for some work-related stuff. We took advantage of the close proximity and treated ourselves with a weekend away to reunite with old friends (which we miss having!!) Nate and I both have this app called Hotel Tonight. It finds you cheap, good, hotels based on your location - luckily I still had $25 credit in my account from first signing up (I love perks), so we scored a sweet deal on a awesome modern hotel right by DFW Airport, allowing us to be in the prime spot for a fun weekend.

Unfortunately, that happened to be the same weekend that the awful wet/cold weather rolled in, so that wasn't very nice. Dallas also happens to be one of the most complicated cities to navigate and drive in - poor Nathan was running on no patience with me and my maps app by the time the weekend was over. But we saw good friends, ate some good BBQ, and slept in a place more comfy than our (at the time) home. Nathan even dragged me to a Texas In-N-Out that was down the street from our hotel (not the same as out West, sadly). 

We spent Thanksgiving with my family, which made the moving weekend much easier. And now we're winding down to the last of the semester and we're both very anxious to get a nice long break. Nathan finishes up finals TODAY (lucky) and gets to sit at home doing "nothing" all week next week, since my last day isn't until the 20th. We're spending the holidays in Nevada with his family, so we'll be flying up there next Saturday! I can't believe this year is almost over. This time last year I was trying to decide whether or not I was going on a mission, and now the biggest decision I'm mulling over in my head is what size wedding photo to print out to hang on our wall. HA. Wait I take that back...buying gifts for guys is hard and that's definitely a struggle right now. 

Also another struggle I've been experiencing this week: cutting myself with sharp knives. No, not on purpose - all accidents - all resulting in a bloody mess and lots of bandaids. That's what we get for getting really nice knives for our wedding. The weird thing is that we've had these knives since we got married like 5 months ago and this is the first (well technically third, since it happened 3 times this week) time I've cut myself with these blasted things. Here's a cleaned up/healing version of the first one. (curse you, onions!!!)

So much has happened this year. I've experienced such a crazy whirlwind of change in such a short amount of time...and I have to admit, I'm usually pretty good at tackling big changes...but this was so much harder than I expected. And I didn't take it very well. But I've found that it's usually when I'm in one of my lowest points that Heavenly Father really likes to shake things up and help pick up the pieces. He's always been good at that. Sometimes I don't like that He lets us get as low as we sometimes do, I really think that most of the time, we could be out of the slums a lot sooner if we kept ourselves in check more often. It's more our faults than His. All we have to do is ask for His help. As soon as Nate and I started being more serious about the asking, He came through 110%. He always does.

Right after we moved, Nate called his mom to give her some updates about the new place. One of the first things she said to him was, "you guys probably love each other more now, huh?"

It kind of threw him off for a second, and it threw me off too, when he was repeating this to me. But after we both thought about it, we realized she was right - in a strange kind of way. We always loved each other in the old place, but being in a new, clean, nice apartment has brought on this wave of happiness and joy that we didn't really start off with in our first house. We were always complaining about things, and now I'm always catching Nate smiling as he's pacing around our new place...which makes me SO happy, because he never did that before. Our lives got kind of flipped upside down in a really good way, and we are SO, so grateful and happy for what we have now. It makes us cherish and enjoy each other so much more. I love him a lot.

Also- I just have to apologize for the lack of picture taking that has been going on since getting married. I am ashamed and it will be one of my new years resolutions to get better at it (AKA- force Nathan to let me). Instead, I will post more pictures of Beyonce and her family because she slapped us all in the face with an AMAZING new self-titled album last night. I can't stop watching/listening to it. Love her.

Beautiful Things

this really beautiful thing happened today. they patched the huge pot hole that was on the road into our neighborhood. i wanted to go put stink bombs under our landlord's door mat and leave scary threats on his front door until he did something to fix it- but i never did that and THEY FIXED IT. we've been screaming about that stupid pot hole (to oursevles) for the last month that we've been here, so it was a big fat happy day when i drove home and saw that.

i only feel confident in showing you one...maybe two...parts of our home. our cute little bed, and our extended closet space. they're the only two places that i probably won't change/add to anymore. i thought i'd buy more pillows to put on our bed, but i'm realizing that's completely unreasonable because:
1. i'm the only one that ever makes the bed
2. it takes far too long and it's getting really annoying
3. once i start my job, i'll be getting up AND leaving before nate, so that means the bed-making responsbility falls on him and adding more pillows to the mix would be a big fat mistake. they'd never make it onto the bed.
4. simplicity is key, right?

this love this little queen but nathan swears as soon as we get the money and are living in a more stable place, we're updating to a king. haha.

this looks messy, but i actually kind of love having my clothes hanging where i can see them so easily like this. having them hiding in a closet is no fun. plus, our "cloest" is the size of nathan (height and width) and i hate it so much.

my handsome guy started grad school this week. he's gonna do so good :) he only has night classes, so that's kind of weird. he's gone from 4-8:30 monday through thursday. i don't really think we're ever going to have real dinner together during the week once i start my job. isn't that the worst?

i keep talking about this job. job job job. yeah i got offered a big girl job this week. woooo hoooooo. no but really i'm actually really excited to start working again. these last few weeks i've felt SO WORTHLESS because i haven't been doing anything with my life and it's SO PATHETIC. i'm just excited to have some responsibility again. and a schedule. and a reasons to wake up in the morning. ha.

i'll be working in the fancy new Texas A&M Health Science Center as a marketing assistant. it's definitely going to be very different than anything i've ever done before, but i think it'll be good. i'm keeping my fingers crossed. it's the best i could do in this tiny little town. someone's gotta be bringing home the bacon, afterall... guess that's my job for the next two years.

another beautiful thing happened today. my husband finally decided to follow me on Twitter. but now i can't tweet anything secret because he's always gonna see it. 

i should probably let you know that we finally got internet hooked up. hallelujah!! and javier really wanted to give us a free month of cable, so nathan did a happy dance and let him hook that up, too. (i told nathan i didn't want to pay the addition $50/mo for cable and he's silently hated me ever since) i told him to get his fix while he can. 

The Wild

hi. it's me. long lost zoe. lots has happened in the last month and i think i've been trying too hard to avoid updating this thing.

so i got married. now i'm very bleak.
ok just kidding- that's just my new last name and it's actually pronounced like "blake". now you know.
with that change comes a new shadow. but really that shadow is a human being and his name is nathan. and he's really cool and smells really nice and has great hair. he also likes to wake up really early and so i'm very sleep deprived most of the time.

we spent our honeymoon skipping around vegas and california for a few days. i ate too much food and spent way too much time in the car for our own good. (we made the mistake of leaving vegas on a sunday and it took us 2 hours to drive the 30 miles out of the city. yikes.) but obviously it was awesome finally having time to ourselves after such a crazy summer away from each other. i missed him a lot.

after our not-long-enough honeymoon we had to hurry back to panaca to pack up the uhaul with all of nate's belongings and move down to college station. 1423 miles. 22 very long hours. i was just glad nathan was excited to drive the truck because that meant i didn't have to. the guy told us that it isn't allowed to go over 55 mph. we broke that rule far too many times and i think hit a maximum speed of 85 mph at one point on the trip. oops.

i've spread really nice rumors about the house we're renting down here in college station. i talked of it like one of those picturesque nicholas sparks-type cottages on a quiet lake in the country. well that's exactly what it is, but once you have a realistic man in the picture with you, it all becomes much more real and you start seeing all that is wrong with the place and everything that is missing and needs to be fixed and cleaned and repaired and installed and bought and set-up and on and on and on. my dream, for a while, turned into an awful nightmare, and we spent too much of our time complaining. i've done everything i can (so far) to make our little house into a home and i think i'm well on my way to success. there's still plenty to be done- suddenlink is about to give us a brain aneurysm. we've been waiting for over 2 weeks for internet to come and get installed. oh and we don't have any real furniture. nate eats dinner in his office chair while i continue to cave in the lid to our igloo. desperate times call for desperate measures.

these live next door to us. they're awesome.

more to come on our fun adventure- but for now, i have to go. only because we're in a campus computer lab using the internet and nate is done checking his school email. ha.