Life lately according to my iPhone

It's the final countdown. Nate's officially completed 80% of his internship, leaving him with roughly 2 weeks left. Meanwhile, I've been twiddling my thumbs down here in Texas, trying to keep myself busy at work every day and at home by myself every night. 

Here's a little look at what my summer has consisted of thus far:

Sending workout selfies to my husband. It's fine. Muscles are cool and stuff. 

The first month was the absolute hardest. We caved and bought two round-trip flights for me to go up and visit him. This was the first - spent mostly in Panaca (Nate's hometown 2.5hrs from Vegas). It was wonderful.

Shameful selfies at work. Cause I was wearing polka dots aaand a braid. It was a big step.

We have the greatest friends here in College Station. I honestly wasn't expecting to make such amazing friendships while Nate and I were here for two years of school. It's only been one year and I feel like we'll be in touch with some of these familes for the rest of our lives. They're so awesome. This is Sailor. She's 3 and she acts like she's 16 and she's one of my favorite people in all the land. I like to color with her and feed her lots of sugar >:) 

This is cute Nathan with some of our favorite nieces :) They live in Southern California and Nate was nice enough to go down there and help them move a few weekends ago. They love him because he takes them out for breakfast burritos and donuts when he comes to town.

This marked part 2 of 2 of my trips to Vegas this summer. I had July 4 off so we took full advantage of the long weekend. My flight got in at 6:30am and I've never seen that airport so empty in my entire life. Usually it's a mad house, but the only person I saw was the cleaning lady in the bathroom downstairs!

We had to wait an hour until the place we wanted to go for breakfast opened it's doors. So we sat in the car and giggled at each other until it hit 7:30am. It was so nice to finally be able to sit across from him while eating a meal.

We aren't very rich, so we tried to keep ourselves busy the rest of the day without spending lots of money. Part of this resulted in us trying to sneak into the Red Rock Hotel pool with one of our old hotel cards...didn't work. They had that place fully guarded and we felt dumb for trying. But it was actually pretty fun(ny).

The accountant at the hospital Nate is interning at hooked us up with tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show called KA. It was preeeeetty cool. Neither of us had been to a show like that before - I honestly didn't even know where to look half the time because I felt like there was something going on in every corner of the room, but it was thoroughly entertaining, and that's all that matters. Also, very asian. Very, very asian.

We made our way over to Panaca the next day. It wouldn't be a trip unless we went to see Nate's parents. Nate calls this part of the desert 'dino poop', cause that's what it looks like. Duh.

There's this old man in Nate's home ward that always comes up and talks to us (me) and whispers sweet nothings into my ear, except he doesn't really whisper, he talks really loud and makes sure everyone can hear what he's saying. It's quite uncomfortable but the attention is nice...I guess...? I can always count on a good hand massage from him while he's doing it. 

Goodbyes never get easier. I left Vegas that night knowing I'd have to survive the remaining 5 weeks until Nate finishes. Tears were shed. It was embarrassing. Whatever.

Welp - took me long enough to get one of these bad boys. This makes me SUPER official, right? I even get access to THE STAIR WELL. I'm really moving up fast. It's really exciting.

This is what our weekends look like. Woo hoo. I feel bad for Nate cause he definitely has it much worse than me. Once he gets home from work he literally has nothing to do. He doesn't have anyone to hang out with or anywhere to go...so he just hangs out in his little casita reading or watching TV or going on walks, or prepping for the fellowships he'll have to apply to this fall. Poor guy.

This is what myyyy weekends look like. Sometimes. When Sailor is in a good mood and wants to come play with me. Check out her pruny hands - we did some serious swimming that day.

Look at cute Nathan in his hospital scrubs! :) The truth is, he's not technically supposed to wear scrubs for this internship, since he's interning under the CEO - he's typically found in nice business attire. This was a special day where they had him doing manual labor, so his boss sent me a picture of him and a cute text and it totally made my day. Love him :)

And for the most recent news in my life - I found a neglected sweet potato in my cupboard! It was not smelly, but it did start growing pink limbs and it reminded me of my sister's many guinea pigs. So there's that. 

The Month of May

May was our countdown month. Nate already had his flight plans for his internship in Vegas - so it was only a matter of time before he left me all alone in this little college town. We tried our best to live up the last few weeks we had together before being separated for the entire summer...

On the first Friday of every month, the city of Bryan becomes overrun by all sorts of bands and musicians and food trucks. Obviously we had to join in on the fun along with everyone else in the Bryan-College Station area.

Nate finally finished his classes for the semester! One year down, one to go!! His class went out to celebrate at a local bar and he dragged me along. We may or may not have witnessed one of his professors getting completely wasted...

Mother's Day was this month. Shout out to my awesome mom who put up with 5 very strange children for the last 25 years of her life. Honestly don't know how you did it, but I grow more and more grateful for you every single day. 

Our awesome friends April & Joey had a huge crawfish boil. The picture above was just some of the FIRST BATCH. Crawfish for daaays. 

They kept making fun of me because I had to thoroughly clean everything off the small piece of meat before putting it in my mouth. Fish guts. Yuck. I'm pretty sure my hands were stained red for the next 24 hours. But it was delicious and super fun :) 

We're blessed with a nice apartment with amenities galooore, so we've been BBQing a lot lately, and it's the best. Nate's a grill master.

We also decided that we could eat out as much as we wanted the last week Nate was here, so this is us finishing off our gigantic sandwiches from Central Market and a huge batch of mouth-watering french fries. (seriously my mouth is watering right now typing this)

Non-stop contruction right by our apartment. I swear construction projects follow us everywhere we live. It's a nightmare.

Sunday walks while it's still cool enough outside...and while I still have someone to walk with...

It rained the entire last week that Nate was here. I think Texas was just as sad as I was because we probably lost the same amount of water. 

In all seriousness though, this has probably been the hardest adjustment I've ever had to go through. I'm so pathetic. I have to admit, I've had a pretty nice life. I've had my fair share of heartache and trials, but this one takes the cake I think. Pray that I survive these next 10 weeks all by myself. 

Post-Wedding Pitfalls

I have this theory that women either get prettier or uglier after getting married. Sometimes it's a gradual process, and sometimes you start noticing after a few weeks...

Fortunately, but unfortunately, it's not like anyone is going to tell you to your face. The ugly/pretty game is completely mental - you know when you're not looking your hottest, you know when you've put on a few pounds - other people may not know those things, but you definitely do.

For me, I feel like I got uglier. It bugged still bugs me, but I think I'm starting to piece together the reasons why...

I must preface my comments by first saying that my husband loves me with or without make-up; 10lbs heavier, or in old high school sweatpants. BUT, I do know there's a fine line and instead of just relying on the fact that he's going to "love me no matter what", I want to keep him satisfied and infatuated...which entails a little more than a greasy bun and a thrown-together outfit every morning. Beauty is definitely MUCH more than physical appearance, but physical appearance aids greatly in your beauty.

Here are my thoughts as to why SOME of us warp into homely, garment wearing, slummy sisters, rather than super toned, in-style, picture-perfect [modest] bombshells.

FIRST, you may have more down time. Obviously this depends a LOT on your situation - but for the most part, the biggest thing in your life that dramatically decreases is your socialization. You could still be in school, or working full-time, but before marriage, most people made a significant effort to spend time with people outside of their everyday full time activities. Once you get married, that effort decreases significantly, and you find yourself at home, or just with your spouse, more often than trying to get together with a group of other people.
That could bring on a wave of different habits and lifestyle changes that could impact your physical appearance. When you're not constantly trying to catch the eye of every guy you pass on campus, your mindset changes and that's when different habits start kicking in. For instance, you could feel less motivated to work out, spend less time getting ready, eat poorly, have less money to spend on yourself, etc.
My down-time comes after my 8-5 workday and most of the time, I have zero energy and would prefer coming home, plopping down on my couch, and watching endless episodes of GG on Netflix whilst eating handfuls of Chex Mix. Down time isn't really my body's friend most of the time.

SECOND, you may have zero time. After marriage you may have less time than before! You could finally have a full-time job after graduation, you may have babies to take care of, or a chaotic house to run...who knows, but sometimes having no down time is just as bad as having too much! It could cause you to eat badly (since you have no meal prep time), or have no time to work out, or literally have no time to get ready.

THIRD, you have less motivation. I already kind of mentioned this above, but I want to reiterate it. It may be different for some people, but once you're married, you feel like you have him "locked in" - you know he's not going anywhere, so why take the extra time to get ready in the morning or find the perfect outfit for your date that night? He "doesn't care what you look like", so what's the point? Besides, he doesn't like waiting around for you to do your hair, so why "make him suffer"?
OMG I've learned this lesson. Although, I must tell you that guys really don't realize how much time goes in to getting ready. Nate was never around before he came to pick me up for our dates! He didn't know I had to start the process two hours in advance in order to have the perfect outfit and perfect hair and perfect face...he didn't see that routine until AFTER the wedding night. It's a game changer, especially if your significant other is as impatient as mine. (Luckily Nate is quietly impatient, but I can still tell when he's sick of waiting on me). Fortunately, you know how long it takes you to get ready, so as long as your communication with your husband is in full swing, you should know when he plans on leaving and what time you should start getting ready. Nate definitely noticed that I started doing my hair less and less as the weeks went by. He started commenting on shower skipping or "less-fashionable" outfits. (Not that he really cares, but he does occasionally say that he remembers us being more fashionable when we were dating...) I didn't like hearing it, and while I had been used to the same routine for years and years, it made me realize that things needed to start changing if I were going to keep my man happy and satisfied.

FOURTH, making your spiritual life less of a priority. I'm just speaking from personal experience here, but I feel like I became less spiritually minded after getting married. Which, I must admit, is the saddest thing in the entire world, because our church is centered on the family and eternal marriages, and I feel like I could be getting so much more out of my marriage if I were to spend more time on gospel study. Not only do you always benefit from scripture study, but keeping your spirituality in check GREATLY increases your physical appearance. Maybe it's partly because while still single, I felt MORE obligated to be spiritually in-check because if not, I wouldn't be rewarded with my EC or something...haha. Or maybe because BYU singles wards are the best and family wards are not, and having that kind of support system greatly aided in my spiritual well being...who knows. All I know is that your spirit shines through, dull or bright, depending on how healthy it is.


So for those of us that associate with any, or in my case, ALL, of the above, here are some ways to shake things up and hopefully get ourselves pulled together and back to that sexy thing your husband said 'yes' to on your wedding day.

FIRST, don't think that married people aren't fun. Yeah, after you get married, you lose like all of your single friends. It's a big adjustment, but don't let it deflate you. There are SO MANY fun married couples. You were a lot more fearless during your single days; so let that part of you shine again when you're meeting people in your new ward or neighborhood.
Get out of your house. Find things to do where you live. Most likely, you've recently moved from somewhere you've been living for the last little while. Not only do you have a new (eternal) roommate, but you have a new home, a new environment...new everything. Don't let it scare you, let it excite you. Invite people over. Have dinner parties and dessert nights. You finally have a home! Make it fun and something to celebrate and show off!

Also, find friends with babies. I promise you'll start getting spurts of baby hunger all the time after getting married, and if you're trying to hold off on having some, it helps having friends with cute kids - you can spend time with them all you want without the worry of actually having to take care of them 24/7! :)

SECOND, I've found that "me time" is some of the most important time during my day. For some, it really may be impossible, but I would hate to think that. You may have to start saying "no" to the occasional request, or start putting your kids down a little bit earlier than usual, but it's essential. "Me time" may just consist of working out, but I guarantee that you won't regret the time spent getting your heart rate up - ever. Sometimes you just need to get out of the house...go shopping, or just for a drive so you can listen to your music as loud as you want without anyone else caring. Maybe you can't leave the house, but you're baby is napping - some days you just gotta skip the cleaning and sit down and read a book of your choosing, or catch up on a few episodes of your favorite TV show. It's worth it, and you'll feel the difference by making that time for yourself.

THIRD, don't settle with yourself now that you're not fighting for attention. Sure you have a husband now who loves you no matter what, but that doesn't mean you can stop caring about what you look like. To be honest, your husband most likely fell in love with the girl who spent two hours getting ready every morning and making sure she had the perfect shirt to wear with her new jeans. Once he stops seeing those things, it's not necessarily going to turn him off, but it will throw him off. You don't want to stop impressing your man - you still want him to think you're sexy and attractive.

Find time to work out, spend that extra half hour getting ready, eat more healthy, and don't hesitate on buying yourself a cute shirt every few months :)

        

Obviously, not everyone has access to a gym, but that's the weakest excuse for not getting your body moving. I've found AWESOME at-home workouts you can easily do with household objects or simply in your neighborhood. If all you have time to do is go on a 15-20min walk every day, then do it, with our without your kids - it's better than nothing.

        

Aside from getting active, it's also about what you eat. Trust me, it takes SO much self control, especially when your husband probably has the highest metabolism you've ever seen and never puts on a single pound after eating anything he wants...but changing the way you eat, in even the smallest ways, will make you feel SO much better about yourself. Stop buying the boxed snacks/chips/cookies. Quit drinking soda. Try to eliminate the sugar you know you probably shouldn't be eating. Start with that. Pinterest has like a bajillion and a half "healthy recipes" you can go find. Try one out every once in a while, but all it takes is slowly eliminating the mindless treats and drinks and replacing them with healthier options. Sometimes I find that my mouth just wants something to chew on, so grapes and baby carrots are like my go-to.

Spend the time getting ready. I used to ONLY shower in the morning, because I swore that my hair looked better if I did...but after Nate started making fun of me for skipping showers because I didn't want to get up that early, I decided to try out showering at night and it's been a complete game changer!! (It's actually saved me time in the morning.) Wear make-up...even if you know you're not leaving the house that day. Pick out your clothes the night before if you're like me and it takes you 5 tries before finding what you really want to leave the house in.

        

FOURTH, spiritual growth makes more of a difference than you may realize. By making time for Him, you are much happier, and in turn, you absolutely show it. Find ways to serve other people - whether it's your husband, your co-workers, or a couple in your ward that needs a little date night.
To add on to that, spirituality is more than reading your scriptures. It's being positive about yourself and others around you. This one is hard for me - especially with social media today and all the false pretenses it entails. People only post what they want people to see - you're comparing your very worst to someone's very best. How unfair is that?! My advice: stop taking everyone so seriously on social media. And stop comparing in general.
Some girls are fortunate enough to already have most of the above habits in place before getting hitched - making their lives seem more glamorous and desirable than our own. Forget them. Focus on you. You have control over your life and what you do, so if you want change, then start working on it!

Yes, your husband should love you no matter what you look like, but loving yourself is even more important than that. You'd be a liar if you said you didn't care what you looked like. Every girl does in one way or another - so whether you're doing it for him, or for yourself, it's worth making some little changes for the better.

I'm no expert on this subject. I haven't even been married a year yet, so I honestly have no room to talk. These thoughts and experiences are based purely on personal experience, so hopefully someone else can relate to them, too. 

Mushy Gushy

Nathan's trying to grow a beard right now. He sees men on TV that have similar hair growth as him and he's like, "hey my beard could look like his, right?" See below:

Yes, this means we were watching Keeping Up With the Kardashians on Saturday morning...judge away.

So Valentine's Day is on Friday. I've never really been a big Valentine's person. Probably because I never dated anyone seriously enough to even need to make it a big deal. Actually, I'm pretty sure last year was my first Valentine's Day that was celebrated with someone of the opposite sex. Years before that were spent with roommates watching chick flicks eating an unecessary amount of junk food on the couch. I guess that helped both me AND Nate going into it, because I had zero expectations for whatever he may or may not have planned. I tried to do little cute things that in the end just ended up being really cheesy and embarrassing. Nate automatically won when he surprised me with dinner reservations at one of our faaavorite restaurants in all of Utah County, Pizzeria 712...and might I add, reservations for Valentine's Day dinner are nearly impossible to come by. Don't ask me how he did it. 

Nate: 1   Zoe: 0

I have no idea what's in store for this year. Is it weird to anyone else that you're supposed to like...give gifts on Valentine's Day? It's like a thing, I feel like. Why? Didn't we just have Christmas? Anyway, I always thought that I was a bad gift giver...but I guess it gets easier when you're with someone 24/7 and you somehow are capable of keeping track of what they need/want or what you think they'll probably really like. Christmas required a good amount of peculiar brainstorming sessions in order to find exactly what Nate would appreciate. (I'd say I did a pretty good job) So for Valentine's I figured I'd go through a similar process and see what I could come up with. In the end, most of my brainstorming was spent doing Google searches of "what to buy men for Valentine's Day". But I found tons of great ideas...none really that I thought would appeal to Nate specifically....but it definitely got my wheels turning. It sparked some memories of little instances when Nate mentioned he was needing something, or that he really like this one particular thing, etc. I think I'm all set for this Friday. Cross your fingers he doesn't go out with a bang...

BUT...I guess you could say our big present to ourselves for Valentine's Day is a trip to NYC next weekend!!!! JetBlue was having some outrageous sale a few weeks ago and I couldn't resist booking us a flight. I absolutely love New York City. Nate's never really experienced it before, so I'm excited to get to spend the weekend with him there.

I'm praying that another huge wintery storm doesn't come blowing in while we're there. As pretty as it is, I think I'd prefer to feel my feet while I'm walking around rather than feel like they're about to break off. 

Being married is a funny thing. Especially in the beginning. A lot of my friends are in all different stages of love right now...some are barely getting engaged...some newly married...a big handful are getting ready to (or already) welcoming a new life into the world. It's crazy how much your life can change by welcoming someone else into it. And I think it happens each time you add someone else. It starts with him. I'm still in that stage. There's lot's of little things to adjust to...and everyone is so different, so no matter what advice anyone gives you, none of it is really going to echo whatever you're going through, because their husband isn't your husband and he doesn't do the same thing your husband does. It's like this love-filled journey you're essentially supposed to figure out on your own. Isn't that strange? 

As soon as it starts getting easier, I think that's when you start welcoming the thought of adding another person into your circle of life. And so the cycle goes. Each time filled with different hiccups and bruises and lessons to learn. But so fulfilling and fun and worth it. 

I get so excited for the friends of mine that are getting engaged and married. It's a freaking hard adjustment, but it's so much more fun to be going through life with someone who loves you more than anything else. I go to bed every night feeling so blessed to be where I am with the person I'm with. The town we live in sucks. My job isn't the best. We don't do a whole lot at all. But I'm realizing I don't need all that stuff to make me feel accomplished and fulfilled. I feel like it's really easy to get caught up in everyone else's life these days. Everyone and their mother puts their most detailed information up on social media for the world to see and when we start using them as a guide for what happiness looks like...it's always going to be skewed. You know that they're only putting up the most glamorous side of their life. It's an unfair comparison to measure your every day life to someone else's highlight of the week. They don't have a highlight of the week every day. 

So here's to your love. Your very own, peculiar, unlike anyone else's, love :) 

Also. Thanks to Kylie, I can't stop listening to this 90's throwback:

What's Love Got To Do With It

Guys I'm engaged.

It's been almost a week and I still don't think it's really hit me yet. The fact that I'm getting married in just over 70 days...

Yeah still hasn't sinked in. Haha.


But let me just tell you these few things:

1. i feel like the absolute luckiest person in the entire world.

2. the two days I was without my ring while it was getting re-sized were the longest days of my entire life.

3. wedding planning is not fun. apparently you have to have lots and lots of money to do it the way you always dreamed.

4. i can't decide if i'm excited or dreading having to correct people on not only my first name, but now my last name, as well. i will now be known as "zo bleek".
      in case you didn't already know- Nathan's last name is pronounced BLAKE. it's confusing, i know- just remember      that Bleak rhymes with steak. 


So I've moved home to Austin for the summer, which sucks now, because I'm engaged and my fiance is still living in Utah. But it's funny, because compared to the last time we had to do long distance in December/January, I was the most unhappy person you may have ever beheld. But then today, my little sister said "You've been unnaturally nice since you got engaged." I don't really know what that means, but I liked it. Cause I should be really angry and upset being away from Nate, but for some reason I'm completely content and still incandescently happy without him physically by my side at all times. I guess there's a certain confidence that erupts inside someone once they know that someone wants to commit to them for the rest of eternity :) I love him for that.

He Is God And We Are Not

Today is the day that I was supposed to enter the Missionary Training Center as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I would spend roughly 9 weeks in the MTC, and then head off to Sweden, to preach the gospel to the Swedish people until July 2014.

It's crazy to look back just four or five months and see how drastically my life has changed in that period of time. So many huge decisions have been made and changed and made then changed...which is honestly kind of hard to comprehend. So much of  me wishes I knew the reasons for why things have happened the way they have; but then another part of me is really enjoying this feeling of not really knowing what's going to happen next, or what big change is going to be around the corner. All I know is that it's been a time of growth for me. It's forced me to rely on my Heavenly Father for guidance and help in moving down the path that I felt was best for me - the path that would make me the very happiest, because that's what He wants most for His children.

I'm not writing this because I feel like I need to give an explanation for what's going on - I want to write this because I'm not the only person that's going to struggle with something like this. I'm hoping this will just be an added testimony of faith and reliance on our Heavenly Father to make important decisions in our lives.

Anyone reading this probably already knows about my mission call and everything that led up to it.

I received my call on November 7, 2012.

The days after that passed more quickly than any semester really had before. School and work got more hectic and it was easy to consume my thoughts with everything that surrounded them and my final semester at BYU. So many times I just wanted to quit and leave and just go to Sweden or anywhere else but Provo. My emotions were hard to control - they'd be up way high one day and then on the floor the next. I'd be nervous and scared and doubtful and then excited and fearless all at one time. It helped that almost all of my best friends had received mission calls right around the same time. It made me feel re-assured that this was the right thing for me - the right way to give back - the right way to serve our Lord for the sacrifice he made for all of us. I just had to keep reminding myself that.

That's why what happened mid-November was so out of place. So random. So strange. So, so hard to just dismiss and ignore.

We like to call it fate. Fate brought me Nate :) In the ice cream aisle at the grocery store.
But it started so many years before that night in November. He was one of those people I would see on campus all the time. It started after I walked into the wrong class my freshman year. I made eye contact with this really attractive guy and basically ran out of the room crying in embarrassment. From then on I would see him at least twice a week around campus, before class, in the library...everywhere...but never had the guts to ever say anything to him. But then there he was, right in front of me choosing which ice cream to get...and I guess knowing I was leaving and never going to see him again made me have a little extra courage or something, because before I realized what I was doing, I was talking to him. I was helping him choose which ice cream to get. And he said it was fate. Fate that I was there right then. And I blushed and my hands got extra hot and probably started melting the ice cream that was in my own hands. I walked away pleased that I finally talked to him - this guy I had been crushing on for about three years now. I didn't think anything of it after that. Well, not until I saw him again a week and a half later. Don't ask me how we both happened to be there, all I know is that it wasn't a mistake. I look back on it now and just have to laugh at how shocked we both were. How out of our element I think both of us were, but it only took that one night for both of us to realize that this wasn't just a coincidence. I found out later that he told himself right then that he needed to see me every day before I leave. And he did. He did and I love him for his persistence.

I've heard just about every opinion anyone could have on the situation. I really struggled when it came to deciding whether or not to put off my mission. We're counseled in our church, and even as women preparing to serve missions, to not ignore or put off any potential marriage opportunities. Now I'm not saying there's going to be a ring on my finger any time soon!! Please don't think that. But I knew it was important to take that into account in this big decision. I also knew that this guy was different. SO different than anyone else I know or have dated in the past. If you could just have a little taste of the way my heart feels when I'm around this boy, or even just thinking about him...you would know why I chose to do the thing that I did.

I deferred my mission until May 29, for now. Who knows what will happen in these next few months. All I know is that I needed them to explore the possibility of something I've always dreamed of having. I couldn't imagine leaving after such a short amount of time and not knowing what was going to happen. Maybe I'm not supposed to go. Maybe preparing to leave set me on a course for a lifetime of service. Maybe preparing to leave stopped me from taking a job in New York after graduation. Maybe it could be a lot of things...it makes me understand more fully the importance of staying worthy to receive personal revelation. You never know when your life is going to change all of a sudden and you're going to only have the Lord to rely upon in order to figure out what to do next. I know that's why I felt like I needed to put off graduating until this last month. I know that's why I felt like I needed to prepare to serve a mission. And why I, for some reason, felt like I needed to put my relationship with Nathan above that.
Obviously this is something that I sought a lot of counsel about - from leaders, my parents and other family members, from scripture, and above all of that, from my own conversations with my Father in Heaven. I had to keep reminding myself that Nathan wasn't sent to me as a distraction, or a punishment...choosing him would never be "wrong" or looked at as a "sin" from deviating from my original plan. Revelation changes. We see that time and time again in our church. It's not a bad thing, it's just a way our Heavenly Father reaches us and guides and directs our lives. Sometimes he needs us to start down one path in order to lead us to another...

I read a talk this morning entitled, "We Are the Architects of Our Own Happiness" by Bishop Gerald Causse. In it there was a paragraph that really stuck out to me. He said, "The greatest thing we can desire in life is to align our will to the will of the Lord--to accept His agenda for our lives. He knows everything from the beginning, has a perspective that we don't have, and loves us with an infinite love." I was struggling a lot prior to officially deferring as to whether or not Heavenly Father would desire more for me to serve a mission or to take the steps to potentially starting an eternal family. I was unsure of what "His agenda" was for me in this circumstance. Both were so good - it's almost impossible to go wrong with either of them. Which is why it really came down to me. Yes, I had to keep God a part of it, but I think what I felt the most in deciding is that He was giving me a choice - and I could pick either one and be immensely happy with either of the two options. I really do believe that. I don't think that I will be worse off in deferring or even not ever going on a mission. I feel like there are many people close to me right now that believe that I'm doing the wrong thing by thinking that.

What we sometimes forget is that our relationships with our Father above are too personal to cast judgement on one another's decisions. Our Heavenly Father knows us and our situations so much more than we could ever imagine - or more than anyone else could imagine FOR us. The talk goes on to say that, "The promises of the Lord assure us of our final destination. The itinerary for each of us will vary according to the foreknowledge of God. Our circumstances may change, unexpected events may occur, challenges may arise, but the promises of God to us are assured through our faithfulness." I'm faithful that I'm being guided by a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my future better than anyone else does. I know that whatever He has planned for me is better than I could ever imagine. Each of our circumstances are so different - I hope we all strive to keep that in mind. Heavenly Father works in our lives so differently according to our needs, personalities, or desires. I know He is anxious to bless us when we do what is right, and I believe that's what He's done and is doing in my life right now.



I met a guy and he changed everything for me. It's difficult for me to write about this, because I still don't know why it happened - it's something I may never fully figure out. But I know that I'm happy. So, so happy. And that's when I know it's right...it's right and it's good. So, so good.

Cinderella's Online Dating Testimonial

I met Kaitlin online roughly 3.6 years ago. After much stalking and a few Skype dates, we decided to move in together. Praise Jesus for social media!!! If I'm 28 and single, feel free to find me on match.com, because I swear it'll work.

Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky. Having a best friend like Kaitlin has been one of the most incredible blessings of my life. I learn so much from her and she probably doesn't even realize it. I'm so grateful to her and the amazing example she is to me :) 

Kaitlin has wanted to serve a mission for our church for as long as I've known her. Every time she would bear her testimony or teach a lesson or have a gospel discussion with someone else or with me, I could just feel so strongly what an amazing impact she would make on so many people throughout her life. Everyone that comes into contact with her is touched by her sweet spirit.  

My best friend received her mission call last night. She's going to Rome, Italy for 18 months come February 2013. We could not be more excited for her!! It's so amazing to see how the Lord has worked in her life these last few years that I've known her. She has continuously been guided by His hand and it makes her story that much more miraculous. Even something that seemed small at the time, like switching from Spanish to Italian last year, has impacted her future in such a huge way.

She cannot wait to teach the Italian people! SERIOUSLY such a dream come true for her :) God is so good.

Stay tuned for some big announcements ahead! It's an exciting time for all of us!