Sunday, July 27, 2014

YEAR ONE



I feel like a lot of people told Nate and I that the first year of marriage was going to be the hardest. I will admit that there were some hard parts, but I think I expected much worse, just based on all the fear other married couples tried to pour over us. Our "honeymoon phase", or whatever they call it, was cut fairly short due to the stream of high-stress events that followed directly after our very short honeymoon. Adult reality was rough - especially when you're having to deal with it with someone you're not used to spending 24/7 with. Luckily, Nathan is a pretty easy guy to live with; (not that I have previous experience...except for my two brothers...and my dad...) he's kind of OCD, and he has great hygiene, and he doesn't have super high expectations...so that made my job and my adjusting to married life, much easier. Praise him!

Aside from the fun stuff above, here are some other things that we've dealt with and learned this first year:

When I first got married, I felt tons of pressure to be the best house wife ever. Home-cooked meals every weekday night for Nathan when he got home from classes, making the bed every single morning, keeping a spotless house...you know how it goes. Well that ended about 3 months in and I definitely don't feel as much pressure to cook elaborate dinners every single night anymore. With his night classes and pea-size stomach, I'd rather have him deal with it on his own. And I think he would, too, most of the time.
We go to bed pretty early. If I'm up past 11pm, there's something wrong (unless it's a weekend...but even then I'll still be asleep before midnight). I never understood that whole "8hours of sleep" thing - but now I do. Now I swear by it.
We actually socialize quite a bit with other married couples around town. A lot of people said you lose all your friends when you get married, but that's not necessarily true. You may lose all your other single friends when you get married, but they absolutely get replaced. Haha. Like, no offense to the single kids - but you hate hanging out with married couples...it's fine... 
Doing grown-up things is hard. Like taking care of a nasty ticket and doing defensive driving and getting all the paperwork taken care of and filled out correctly. Or paying bills. Like lots of them - and having to keep track of all of it. Or budgeting. Or paying taxes. Or renewing your car registration. Or dealing with housing management companies. Or having a full time job whilst watching all your other college friends go off on these elaborate trips around the world. Boo them. 
Sometimes I get super baby hungry. But that's why we have other married friends with children - we can go hang out with them for a few hours and get reminded as to why we're definitely not ready to have children of our own any time soon. 
I'm realizing more and more the importance of having a job you enjoy. Even if it doesn't pay as much - sometimes I think it maybe is more worth it. Right now that's hard to argue, because I'm having to put my husband through grad school and we're still having to take out some student loans and stuff...but a job is something you spend the majority of your time doing, and if you hate it - it ends up effecting every single other aspect of your life. Since I have extremely limited options here in our tiny town, instead of wallowing in self-misery, I work on changing my attitude and forcing myself to love what I do. But in a year, when we move somewhere else, I'm going to make sure it's both mine and Nathan's priority to find jobs we both enjoy doing for at least 40 hours every week. 
My lactose-intolerance is getting worse. Now I can only drink almond milk and my second bite of ice cream usually makes me sick. Still haven't tried lactose pills, but I have big plans to test them in the near future. 
My attempts to "diet" always fail because for some reason I really just cannot give up sugar. But I'm getting better at working out really consistantly, so I don't feel aaaas bad when I cave.
Don't move into a place just because it looks like a cabin on a 'lake' that would be in a Nicholas Sparks book. Sometimes it's actually quite miserable and infested with spiders and scorpions. 
Don't try to take the protective plastic off the tv your husband bought two years ago or else he will get very angry. 
Don't be indecisive about where you go out to eat, or else your husband will never want to go out to eat with you. 
Don't complain to your husband that it's too cold in your house, becasue most likely he has a hotter body temperature than you. That's what blankets and cuddling are for. 
Don't leave your shoes laying out all over the floor or else your wife will continue to trip over them and maybe even bruise herself on the frame of the bed. 
Don't leave your whiskers in the sink for your wife to find when she gets home from work. Because that's gross and it's not that hard to rinse them down the drain. 
Don't use your fancy knives if you're not going to be suuuper careful, or else you will cut your fingers...a lot... 
Don't put the half-empty bag of flour on the floor of the pantry because it will turn into a home for bugs 
Don't let your husband leave you for the entire summer because then you won't have anyone to kill the bugs...or fix the burnt out light(s)...or complain to your apt. management...or take care of you when you're sick...or watch really idiotic tv shows with you...or eat meals with...  
Don't forget about the sweet potato in your cupboard or else it will start growing long pink limbs and look like a rodent...or a piece of art...  
Start writing things down. You don't have to start a blog in order to be officially admitted into the married people's club, but you should definitely have some sort of way to keep track of the things going on in your life. Good, bad, ugly, depressing, exciting...it's always fun to look back on.
Save money. As much as you can. There's better use for it down the road. 
But at the same time, don't hold back on splurging on things that will be more worth it emotionally. Like my flights to Vegas this summer -- we don't have that kind of money just sitting around, but instead of being ABSOLUTELY depressed for 10 weeks straight, we thought it would be a better investment to go ahead and purchase the flights and save the heartache. Totally, totally worth the money.
Always make sure the first person you tell your exciting news to is your spouse. Not your mom, or your best friend...your spouse. That's what they're there for, and that's who you should always make your first priority. For everything.
Take advantage of every opportunity for adventure. Nate and I are slowly getting better at this. I've been learning a lot from some of my other married friends from college...some of them are SO good at getting out and doing really fun things in the cities and areas around them. Some of the time the stuff isn't even that cool, but I love that they try to do something besides just sit around and be boring all weekend long. Nate and I got too good at that for a while and I'm ready for that to change. 
Our first year flew by way too fast. Looking back, there's so much we went though in such a short amount of time. Lots of ups and downs. I wouldn't do a single thing differently, except maybe be a little more optimistic about certain situations...
I'm excited for this second year to start. We have a lot to get done and prepare for in these next few months, and it makes me so giddy for our future. This final year of Nate's grad program is going to be hefty. I'm not looking forward to all the night classes and team meetings that steal him away from me on my hours off from work...but it's all going to be worth it once he's graduating next May and we're off to a new place to start a new chapter of our lives.

I'm not sure what I did to snag a guy like Nate, but I thank God every day for him and what a blessing he is in my life. He's the kindest, most selfless and loving husband I could have ever asked for. And he sooo handsome :) I love love love him.


2 comments:

  1. Do you have a template for your "First Year" layout above by chance? Too cute.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, I do not! I created it in Illustrator.

      Delete