The Ice Cream Aisle

It happened two years ago. Right at the peak of the mass exodus of sister missionaries from Provo, Utah... 

It seemed like every single female was getting a mission call - there were multiple opening parties every Monday and Wednesday night - foreign destinations were the topic of every lunch date - ASOS packages filled the mail trucks and littered the doorsteps of every apartment complex - FB profile pictures were updated to your mission application head shot...you remember how it was...

Well I was one of those girls. It was exactly 10 days after I had received my call to the Sweden, Stockholm mission. Kaitlin's little sister (who had also just received her mission call) was in town visiting/celebrating. She was craving Ben&Jerry's Half Baked so we made a late night trip to Smith's. 

You never really know what you're going to find at Smith's...it's right in the heart of Provo. Most often you'll walk in and see at least one person you know, or had a class with, or remember from your freshman dorm... Or a homeless person, or an NBA star, or a famous Mormon blogger, or the head of the BYU meth lab... You just never know... 

We only had one goal with this shopping trip: ice cream - Ben&Jerry's to be exact. The ice cream aisle was a straight shot back from the front entrance of the grocery store. With the few steps it took to get there, it wasn't long before I noticed there were guys blocking the freezer door to the Half Baked ice cream we were after. I didn't know either of their names, but one of them stood out. He was very handsome. And his face was very familiar to me. It took me a few seconds to realize that I had seen him before. Multiple times. Not in any sort of formal setting - just around campus here and there. I only ever admired him from afar. Every so often I remember seeing him with a person I knew, but I never took the effort into finding out more about him.

So here he was: man unknown - man in black - struggling to decide between two different brands of coffee flavored ice cream. 

(I must note here that we were only here for Kaitlin and Paige: they requested Ben&Jerry's Half Baked...but in fact, my favorite kind of ice cream is coffee flavored ice cream, so obviously I was heaven sent to help him choose which kind to get...)

To him, I was a mere stranger who really had no business interfering in his affairs. In fact, if it were anyone else, I probably wouldn't have said anything...but for some reason, he felt familiar to me, so it didn't take much courage for me to speak up and let him know that he would be truly sorry if he chose any other brand but Starbucks.

He turned around quickly, making it obvious that he didn't even notice us standing there. It was probably extremely alarming turning around to 4 girls surrounding you. He mumbled something about 'this being fate' because he had no idea which one to choose...or something like that...and he and his friend picked up their small cartons and walked towards the check-out lines.

I didn't think a single thing of it after they left. Kaitlin and Paige picked up their cartons and we, too made our way back home and spent the rest of the evening just like any other weekend night with just us girls. Tucked away in our apartment wearing who knows what and talking about whoever we felt like and worrying and wondering about what would be happening 6 months down the road...

I ended up marrying that boy from the ice cream aisle. Somehow we ended up at the same party (invited by the same person) 10 days after our encounter at the grocery story and the rest is history. We saw each other every day since then. 

My mission was deferred...and then cancelled...

Family's were met...road trips and weekend trips... 

Grad school was decided upon...moves were made...

A ring was bought...and a date set... 

A summer was spent apart...and a wedding planned... 

A contract was signed...and a U-Haul was rented... 

I think back on that trip to Smith's pretty often. I think about all the big events that led up to that one single trip to the grocery store. I think about all the other places I probably could have been that night if it weren't for all the things that had taken place in the months leading up to mission calls and Paige visiting...

Just within those last 6 months before meeting him:

- I felt prompted to extend my graduation date

- I felt prompted to turn down job offers

- I was broken up with

- I felt prompted to prepare for a mission

- Guys were broken up with

And I realized that…

If I never noticed him around campus, I would have never recognized his face there in Smith’s.

If I never recognized his face, I would not have helped him choose which ice cream to buy.

If I never helped him choose, I wouldn't have peaked his interest at the party

If we never connected at the party, he wouldn’t have gotten my name, or my number… He wouldn’t have ever seen me again… I would have gone on to serve a mission… and yeah, I think both of us would have turned out perfectly fine…but here’s the thing…

And I don't think Nate likes for me to think this, but I think there was some serious Heavenly guidance going on in each of our lives in the years before we finally met. It was too weird that we ended up having tons of mutual friends. It was too weird that we hadn't met after living within a few miles of each other for the 4 years I lived there. It was too strange that it happened when it did - 10 days after receiving one of the most life-altering letters I have ever received. It was too strange how easy the relationship was from the very beginning. It was too weird how connected we felt after only knowing each other for a week. It was too weird how I could honestly say I knew I was going to marry him after only dating for a month. 

Sometimes I wonder if Smith's was my only chance at finding Nate. I feel like Heavenly Father gave me a super small window to work with, but it proves that much more how perfectly God knows each of our lives and how much He is involved, whether we wish to acknowledge it or not.

The months I spent preparing to serve a mission were some of the best months of my life. Spiritually, I felt like I was at an all-time high. I know that if I had not gone through the motions of preparing to serve a mission for 18 months, that there is a large chance that I would not have been exactly where I needed to be that Saturday night. There's a truth to the many quotes that talk about being in the right place at the right time - but there's also a lot of work that goes in to being capable of being in that place exactly when you need to be. It takes being perfectly in tune with the spirit and constant communication with your Father in Heaven. It takes humility and sacrifice - but in return, it brings blessings and happiness beyond what you could ever imagine.  

I know now, that I needed to go through the steps of preparing to serve a mission. I know that it helped me put my life in order and become spiritually prepared to make some of the hardest decisions I’m certain I’ll ever have to make. The best part about it, is that those decisions ended up being so much easier to make with the Lord on my side. 

Life lately...

I've been wanting to update this for a long time, but I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to say.

My days lately have consisted of working and then finding ways to entertain myself until I'm tired enough to fall asleep for the night. Since graduating this last December, it's been kind of a game for me to keep myself occupied. Thank heavens for Nathan- he takes up a good majority of my time. Ok well I have to take that back - his work schedule is typically opposite of mine, so I really do have to find ways to entertain myself still.

It's weird being by yourself, ya know? I don't have that lonely feeling, though. Like, yeah, of course I would love to spend more time with my boyfriend- yeah, I miss him when he's at work all night while I'm at home...but I'm talking more about the idea of staying busy and keeping yourself sane whilst being by yourself.

It took some time, but I've had fun figuring out what I like doing with my free time. I typically get home around 5 every day. Still too early for me to eat dinner, but late enough that I have to start thinking about it. I've been in a cooking kick since the beginning of the year, so honestly, I spend a good amount of time finding fun recipes or studying up on healthy dinners I can make for myself after work. And this sounds kind of strange, but I love cooking alone. Sure, I have a blast cooking dinners with Nate when we get the chance, but there sometimes is nothing more peaceful than being alone in a kitchen preparing a meal. I like having total control over my surroundings - obviously having total control over my kitchen is a great feeling. No one is there watching me make a mistake or taste test a million times or drop something on the floor. And then I get that feeling of accomplishment at the end of it all - judgment free. And it usually tastes really, really good :)

Besides cooking, I've finally forced myself to get back in shape. Believe it or not, it came faster than I thought it would. I've wasted so much money with my gym membership this last year...haha. Oops. But dating someone tends to make girls think that they shouldn't care about what their body looks like anymore because "they love the way I look no matter what". Bull crap, ladies. Bulllll crap. Your man notices when you're putting on the pounds, and it's your responsibility to get rid of it. While he may still love you, even 10lbs heavier than when he first started dating you, I can promise you he'd prefer you to stay in shape for him.
Nathan and I were talking one night, and he said something that I never really thought guys noticed a ton. He said one of the biggest things he liked about me is that I always look put together - that I take the time to make sure I look good every day.
I just like the fact that he noticed stuff like that. It made me realize that hey, he also probably noticed that I've gained 5lbs since the beginning of the year, and hey, I should probably drop that ASAP.

So with already starting this healthy eating/cooking kick, and then getting myself back in the gym, I started to notice the results real quick. And I LOVED that. Losing weight really is so much about what you're putting in your body. But it definitely helps being active, too.

Sorry...I've never been one to talk about stuff like this publicly, but I guess there's a first time for everything? 


Ok so Nate and I really have been doing some fun things lately! Last month was my birthday, so Nathan took me up to Salt Lake for dinner. We brought Aaron and Hillary and made it a little party there at The Copper Onion. Way good, btw. Definitely recommend it.

 

For my big present, Nathan wanted to make a little road trip down to Southern California that next weekend. He has a brother down there that we went to stay with and we had SUCH a fun time.
But we can't forget the stops we made along the way--
Nate has been wanting to golf at this course in the middle of the Nevada desert. It's called Coyote Springs and boy were we pleasantly surprised with what it had to offer us :) It was gorgeous!! It was so fun for me to watch him do something that he loves.

My only request once we made it to California is that we went to the Corona del Mar tide pools. It's a tradition of mine to go with Kaitlin every trip to her home, so since Kait's in Italy now, I had to make the trip with someone else!

The weather is slowly starting to warm up here in the mid-west. Utah likes to tease us, though...so this freak snow storm the other day wasn't a huge surprise. I'm excited for summer, though. Hopefully it means more of this: 

On a separate note, I'm moving back home to Austin right after graduation at the end of the month! Crazy, huh? Nathan and I decided that since he got into the graduate program at Texas A&M, it'd be smart for me to go ahead and make the move down there and find a good job (that I actually enjoy) for the time being. While yes, that means the summer apart, I think it's a smart move for anything that may happen in the future. A&M is only 1.5hrs away from Austin, so it will be easy for Nate and I to see each other on the weekends once he moves down there towards the end of summer.

First of all, I could not be more proud of him for getting in to such a fantastic school and program. Second, the fact he's going to school so close to home makes me ECSTATIC. And third, I'm beyond thrilled to move away from Utah and find a good job (that actually uses my college education) in a city that I love so much.

Guys, the future is exciting. I have no idea what it has in store for me, but the journey has been fun leading up to it so far. Great things are to come :) I can feel it.

Too often I find myself trying to plan ahead. I look into the future and try and figure out what's going to happen next week, or next month, or 6 months from now - when really, I tend to forget to live in the now. I forget that I'm in the place I am for a reason, whether it's to learn something, or be there for someone, or to experience something, or to keep me from doing anything or going anywhere else.

If there's one thing that I've realized this year, it's that God has a plan for each and every one of us, and it's not just a picture-perfect future in store - it's steps and experiences, conversations, relationships, trials, lessons - all foreseen by Him - all planned - all needed for us, to get us eventually to that perfect future...but until then, it's going to be all about enjoying the journey up until that point. And not always wondering what that future is going to be like, but instead stepping back and noticing the importance of every single day.

That sounds so dumb and cliche, but really it's so true. I always spend way too much time worrying what's going to happen, when I could be missing out on an experience, or memory, or conversation that I'll want to remember, or that will help me grow or learn something specific.

So, here's to a new attitude. To enjoying every day, and not wondering what the next is going to be like until the next morning.

But here's also not to over-analyzing...because that could happen, too...  :)

He Is God And We Are Not

Today is the day that I was supposed to enter the Missionary Training Center as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I would spend roughly 9 weeks in the MTC, and then head off to Sweden, to preach the gospel to the Swedish people until July 2014.

It's crazy to look back just four or five months and see how drastically my life has changed in that period of time. So many huge decisions have been made and changed and made then changed...which is honestly kind of hard to comprehend. So much of  me wishes I knew the reasons for why things have happened the way they have; but then another part of me is really enjoying this feeling of not really knowing what's going to happen next, or what big change is going to be around the corner. All I know is that it's been a time of growth for me. It's forced me to rely on my Heavenly Father for guidance and help in moving down the path that I felt was best for me - the path that would make me the very happiest, because that's what He wants most for His children.

I'm not writing this because I feel like I need to give an explanation for what's going on - I want to write this because I'm not the only person that's going to struggle with something like this. I'm hoping this will just be an added testimony of faith and reliance on our Heavenly Father to make important decisions in our lives.

Anyone reading this probably already knows about my mission call and everything that led up to it.

I received my call on November 7, 2012.

The days after that passed more quickly than any semester really had before. School and work got more hectic and it was easy to consume my thoughts with everything that surrounded them and my final semester at BYU. So many times I just wanted to quit and leave and just go to Sweden or anywhere else but Provo. My emotions were hard to control - they'd be up way high one day and then on the floor the next. I'd be nervous and scared and doubtful and then excited and fearless all at one time. It helped that almost all of my best friends had received mission calls right around the same time. It made me feel re-assured that this was the right thing for me - the right way to give back - the right way to serve our Lord for the sacrifice he made for all of us. I just had to keep reminding myself that.

That's why what happened mid-November was so out of place. So random. So strange. So, so hard to just dismiss and ignore.

We like to call it fate. Fate brought me Nate :) In the ice cream aisle at the grocery store.
But it started so many years before that night in November. He was one of those people I would see on campus all the time. It started after I walked into the wrong class my freshman year. I made eye contact with this really attractive guy and basically ran out of the room crying in embarrassment. From then on I would see him at least twice a week around campus, before class, in the library...everywhere...but never had the guts to ever say anything to him. But then there he was, right in front of me choosing which ice cream to get...and I guess knowing I was leaving and never going to see him again made me have a little extra courage or something, because before I realized what I was doing, I was talking to him. I was helping him choose which ice cream to get. And he said it was fate. Fate that I was there right then. And I blushed and my hands got extra hot and probably started melting the ice cream that was in my own hands. I walked away pleased that I finally talked to him - this guy I had been crushing on for about three years now. I didn't think anything of it after that. Well, not until I saw him again a week and a half later. Don't ask me how we both happened to be there, all I know is that it wasn't a mistake. I look back on it now and just have to laugh at how shocked we both were. How out of our element I think both of us were, but it only took that one night for both of us to realize that this wasn't just a coincidence. I found out later that he told himself right then that he needed to see me every day before I leave. And he did. He did and I love him for his persistence.

I've heard just about every opinion anyone could have on the situation. I really struggled when it came to deciding whether or not to put off my mission. We're counseled in our church, and even as women preparing to serve missions, to not ignore or put off any potential marriage opportunities. Now I'm not saying there's going to be a ring on my finger any time soon!! Please don't think that. But I knew it was important to take that into account in this big decision. I also knew that this guy was different. SO different than anyone else I know or have dated in the past. If you could just have a little taste of the way my heart feels when I'm around this boy, or even just thinking about him...you would know why I chose to do the thing that I did.

I deferred my mission until May 29, for now. Who knows what will happen in these next few months. All I know is that I needed them to explore the possibility of something I've always dreamed of having. I couldn't imagine leaving after such a short amount of time and not knowing what was going to happen. Maybe I'm not supposed to go. Maybe preparing to leave set me on a course for a lifetime of service. Maybe preparing to leave stopped me from taking a job in New York after graduation. Maybe it could be a lot of things...it makes me understand more fully the importance of staying worthy to receive personal revelation. You never know when your life is going to change all of a sudden and you're going to only have the Lord to rely upon in order to figure out what to do next. I know that's why I felt like I needed to put off graduating until this last month. I know that's why I felt like I needed to prepare to serve a mission. And why I, for some reason, felt like I needed to put my relationship with Nathan above that.
Obviously this is something that I sought a lot of counsel about - from leaders, my parents and other family members, from scripture, and above all of that, from my own conversations with my Father in Heaven. I had to keep reminding myself that Nathan wasn't sent to me as a distraction, or a punishment...choosing him would never be "wrong" or looked at as a "sin" from deviating from my original plan. Revelation changes. We see that time and time again in our church. It's not a bad thing, it's just a way our Heavenly Father reaches us and guides and directs our lives. Sometimes he needs us to start down one path in order to lead us to another...

I read a talk this morning entitled, "We Are the Architects of Our Own Happiness" by Bishop Gerald Causse. In it there was a paragraph that really stuck out to me. He said, "The greatest thing we can desire in life is to align our will to the will of the Lord--to accept His agenda for our lives. He knows everything from the beginning, has a perspective that we don't have, and loves us with an infinite love." I was struggling a lot prior to officially deferring as to whether or not Heavenly Father would desire more for me to serve a mission or to take the steps to potentially starting an eternal family. I was unsure of what "His agenda" was for me in this circumstance. Both were so good - it's almost impossible to go wrong with either of them. Which is why it really came down to me. Yes, I had to keep God a part of it, but I think what I felt the most in deciding is that He was giving me a choice - and I could pick either one and be immensely happy with either of the two options. I really do believe that. I don't think that I will be worse off in deferring or even not ever going on a mission. I feel like there are many people close to me right now that believe that I'm doing the wrong thing by thinking that.

What we sometimes forget is that our relationships with our Father above are too personal to cast judgement on one another's decisions. Our Heavenly Father knows us and our situations so much more than we could ever imagine - or more than anyone else could imagine FOR us. The talk goes on to say that, "The promises of the Lord assure us of our final destination. The itinerary for each of us will vary according to the foreknowledge of God. Our circumstances may change, unexpected events may occur, challenges may arise, but the promises of God to us are assured through our faithfulness." I'm faithful that I'm being guided by a loving Heavenly Father who knows me and my future better than anyone else does. I know that whatever He has planned for me is better than I could ever imagine. Each of our circumstances are so different - I hope we all strive to keep that in mind. Heavenly Father works in our lives so differently according to our needs, personalities, or desires. I know He is anxious to bless us when we do what is right, and I believe that's what He's done and is doing in my life right now.



I met a guy and he changed everything for me. It's difficult for me to write about this, because I still don't know why it happened - it's something I may never fully figure out. But I know that I'm happy. So, so happy. And that's when I know it's right...it's right and it's good. So, so good.

By Their Fish Ye Shall Know Them?

I always liked to think that I had my life all figured out. Months ago I decided to stay a little bit longer here at BYU for who knows what reasons - I always thought it was to find some guy to sweep me off my feet and put a ring on my finger.

That was not the case.

Then I thought I just needed extra time to find a sweet job in New York City...or anywhere else. After all, I am graduating in December.

That also, was not the case.

Then I figured I just needed to have fun and be with the people I love while we still have time together.

And I was right! BUT, in the midst of that, I also came to realize something else...

I don't always know what is best for me. So often I pray to receive direction on the way my life is headed and SO often I don't always get the clearest answer...it always just kind of happens. I find my life heading in a direction that I couldn't be more happy with, and for that, I just continue to thank my Father above for being so gracious in making my life so clear cut.

After my grand internship in Chicago this summer, I knew that I wanted to continue in the advertising industry. It's everything I'd ever want in a job, so I worked hard at keeping connections with everyone I could at different agencies around the country. Coming into this semester, I knew that my friendships made would be coming to an end, and I'd be off to bigger and better things at some fancy city away from this little city in Utah.

As weeks passed and as my beautiful roommate, Kaitlin, started the process of submitting her mission papers, I couldn't help but think that maybe MY path I had in my head wasn't exactly the right path for me...?

As many of you know, men in my church are asked to spend two years of their life starting at age 19, to serve a mission somewhere in the world. The assignments are made from the first presidency of the church and you are asked to pick up and go wherever you are called. It's terrifying and exhilarating and magnificent all at the same time. Sisters are not required to go, but are gladly welcomed if they so choose. My mom served in Korea at the same time as my dad a little over 20 years ago. (That's where they met...nothing sketchy...don't worry...) It's always been in the back of my mind that I COULD go if I wanted to...but to me, I just felt like God had planned out my life so perfectly up until now...why would I diverge from that in any way?? I had my dream job right in front of me! Yet, as Kaitlin drew closer and closer to getting her call...I drew closer and closer to the Lord, seeking His help in guiding me to make the right choice, for ME.

At the time, girls were not allowed to serve until 21 years of age. Literally a week after these thoughts started coming into my head, the missionary age for girls was dropped to 19, allowing me to submit my papers as soon as I wanted to (since my 21st birthday isn't until March). Meaning I could leave immediately after I graduate this coming December.

All my life, I've been taught that people receive answers to prayers in different ways. I've always been the type to just realize a ways down the road that my prayer had been answered based on the position I was in or the place I had progressed to after a certain amount of time...ya know? Like...slow guided inspiration that led me to the place I needed to be - and then I realize that that was the exact answer I had been seeking. I've never been one to get an answer based off a heavy spiritual experience that causes tears to shed and serious good bumps all over my body...until that day in the Conference Center in Salt Lake. I went into that General Conference weekend ready to get a confirmation on the decision to serve, and the prophet of God stood up within the first few minutes of that incredible weekend and spoke straight to my soul about the importance of missionary work and their cry for help in hastening the work of the Lord. That's all I needed to hear. My answer was clear. I needed to go.

I have no reason not to go - in fact, my reasons TO go greatly exceed my reasons to stay. This may seem slightly trivial to many not of my faith, but I feel like a great portion of my life needs to be spent in service to my Savior - the great sacrifice He made for me and every other person that has ever lived, or will live, is impossible to repay, but a year and a half is still a year and a half, and I can handle baby steps for now.

This gift of the gospel is meant to be shared :) And I know that I can help make others just as immensely happy as I am with it's wonderful news of light and purpose in this life.

I have been called to serve in the Stockholm, Sweden Mission from January 2013 - July 2014
I could not be more excited :) I know this is where I need to be and I'm so grateful for the people that have been in my life to guide me to the place I am today. I'M GOING TO SWEDEN!!!


If you would like to find out more about why I'm leaving reality for 18 months - ask me. If you want to hear more about my church - ask me! If you want to be my friend and take me to dinner/lunch/hot chocolate - ask me! If you want a hug - ask me! If you want to cuddle - ask me! I'm just in one of those moods...so take it while you can. 

Cinderella's Online Dating Testimonial

I met Kaitlin online roughly 3.6 years ago. After much stalking and a few Skype dates, we decided to move in together. Praise Jesus for social media!!! If I'm 28 and single, feel free to find me on match.com, because I swear it'll work.

Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky. Having a best friend like Kaitlin has been one of the most incredible blessings of my life. I learn so much from her and she probably doesn't even realize it. I'm so grateful to her and the amazing example she is to me :) 

Kaitlin has wanted to serve a mission for our church for as long as I've known her. Every time she would bear her testimony or teach a lesson or have a gospel discussion with someone else or with me, I could just feel so strongly what an amazing impact she would make on so many people throughout her life. Everyone that comes into contact with her is touched by her sweet spirit.  

My best friend received her mission call last night. She's going to Rome, Italy for 18 months come February 2013. We could not be more excited for her!! It's so amazing to see how the Lord has worked in her life these last few years that I've known her. She has continuously been guided by His hand and it makes her story that much more miraculous. Even something that seemed small at the time, like switching from Spanish to Italian last year, has impacted her future in such a huge way.

She cannot wait to teach the Italian people! SERIOUSLY such a dream come true for her :) God is so good.

Stay tuned for some big announcements ahead! It's an exciting time for all of us!

The Age Of Worry

I'm trying to find excuses for my life right now. I jump at the chance to not deal with the decisions that I'm needing to make and I feel like it's taking a serious toll on my emotions - they go from super high to super low within a days time...is this what it's like to be pregnant?

Slow Motion

Do you ever feel like sometimes life is going by too quickly? You look back and feel like maybe your days have been in fast forward for a few months? 

For so long now I thought that that was how I wanted it to be. I've always been a fan of moving on to bigger and better things. My life for years now has been extremely fast paced. I graduated high school early. I took college classes while in high school still. I came to college thinking I could keep with that same rhythm. And I could. And I have. And now I hate it. I could graduate in June if I wanted to. I could move to New York if I wanted to. I could start my career if I wanted to. 

You know what else I could do? I could leave all my best friends and best memories. I could jump the gun and not have any fun with my classes. I could groan and complain about how much I hate Provo and let everyone know how ready I am to get out of here. I could listen to my mind and not my heart. 

I could listen to MY will instead of HIS will. 

I could make a mistake.

And that's what I realized whilst sitting in my D&C class yesterday. I was only listening to what I wanted - not what He has in mind for me. And that was a mistake. 

Why would I want to graduate a year earlier than everyone else I came here to BYU with? Why would I want to move to New York at barely 20 years old to start a career? Why would I want to leave my very best friends to move on to no one and loneliness at such a young age? Why would I only take the required courses and not take advantage of the fun classes I have available to me here at one of the top universities in the nation? Why would I complain about this awesome college town that I live in? There are so many good things about it - it's a shame that I find myself getting down on it so often. Why would I want to get out of here after only living here for 3 years? 

I don't. I'm not. I'm staying. 

Timing

The new year has finally arrived and I have a feeling it's gonna be a crazy one. One full of surprises. 


Lately, I've had a problem trying to plan out my future...trying to count on certain things to work our certain ways to ensure this and that...blahblahblah. Basically I was lacking confidence in my future, and so when it finally all crumbled down, it hit me pretty hard - and so that naturally turned me to the one person we can all always count on...the Lord.


Today in our testimony meeting at church, I swear every person was speaking directly to me - their words were exactly what I needed to hear; mostly the ones focusing on God's love for us. For you. For me. That through it all - He understands what we're going through. When it feels like we don't have anyone else to turn to - at what seems like our lowest of lows, He is always there. Always. 


I don't know why I haven't learned my lesson yet, but I think now, more than times before, I will have to learnt o accept the Lord's plan for me. I have NO IDEA what it is - but that's what's exciting about it all. I have to train myself to let Him work in my life. I have to stop trying to push in MY timetable, when the Lord's timetable rules over that nine times out of ten. 


I found this incredible talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, talking about Timing. I highly suggest taking a few minutes to read it, especially at the start of this new year. Here's one of my favorite quotes from it:
"Do not rely on planning every event of your life—even every important event. Stand ready to accept the Lord's planning and the agency of others in matters that inevitably affect you. Plan, of course, but fix your planning on personal commitments that will carry you through no matter what happens. Anchor your life to eternal principles, and act upon those principles whatever the circumstances and whatever the actions of others. Then you can await the Lord's timing and be sure of the outcome in eternity." 


I'm open for what He has planned for me - do to the fact all MY plans just got completely crushed, I have faith that HIS are going to be ten times better for me this year. Bring it on :)