The List

The other day I was really bored and created a list of every guy that has ever snagged at my heartstrings in even the slightest way (eg. a kiss/date/deep convo, etc.). Take this as you want - but I did it and couldn't help but laughing out loud at myself and what I had just done.

I know many girls wouldn't admit to this - but literally almost every change I have made in my past; whether it be attitude, habit, style, interest - was instigated due to one of these boys on my list. HOW PATHETIC! Ok but I'm a girl, so that's just how we work, right? Haha. Just let me continue to think this is normal...

I kept going over this list in front of me and it was interesting to remember how different each of these people were - how I was attracted to different things in each of them...how they made me laugh about different things in different ways...how I was more comfortable with some more than others...how different each of the goodbyes were when the time came to part ways...how many of them were now married and how incredibly single I am right now.

Single. Yes. Just the way I like it. These are the times when I get to be selfish and figure out myself and what I really like - I get to decide what makes me happy. I've become really good at this in these last couple years. And as I grow older and mature a little more every 12 months, I become more independent and start to care a lot less about how I'm going to charm the next guy, or find something I can change about myself to impress someone who I think may be watching (who probably won't even notice/care anyways). I am me. And some boy, one day, will come along and appreciate every little thing about me that the last guy didn't.

Wanna know what I've learned looking back on this list of past pursuers?

• Mommy knows best - always trust your parents' instinct eeeven if you don't want to hear it at the time. They're always right.
• Make them talk about their family - if it isn't a positive conversation, run away as fast as you can.
• Bad guys may be more attractive, but they end up hurting you the worst in the end. 
• Don't be afraid to tell your roommate/best friend to back off if you're interested in a guy. It will only help, even if you think it will hurt. Everyone will be happier :)
• Don't always say yes. It's ok to say no. That goes across the entire spectrum. 
• Fake a smile until it becomes real - there's nothing more unattractive than a girl that doesn't look happy.
• The ones you want to hold on to always send the "Let me know when you get home ok" text after hanging out. Choose a gentleman. Always.
• If you don't miss him, you don't care about him enough to keep dragging him along. Let him go.
• EAT IN FRONT OF HIM. Lots.

I'm not an expert on hanging on to guys for very long...hence the reason I don't have a ring on my finger. But I do know that the most important thing to focus on right now is yourself. Until you become equal in greatness to the person you're seeking for yourself, you're not gonna find him ;)